Inspiration

I hope you're out there living, breathing, trying.  If you're not, you're wasting your time.

Don't stop living.  When you do, that's when you're no longer worth your salt.

When you stop living, you stop laughing, you stop loving.

We are humans, and meant to laugh, meant to love, meant to breath the world in through our nostrils and experience it with all the senses available to us.

Get into the world.  Live.  Breath.  Try.  Don't waste your time.

It's Been A While Since My Last Tangent

It's been a while.  No?  Don't lie, it has. ^1

A lot has changed in my life.  I'd rather not go into details.  Suffice to say, there has been positive and negative changes that have resulted in sum zero.

I, we, made some decision that hurt, but ultimately, I hope--pray--think, will help, though.

I think about it, sometimes, and I hurt about it, sometimes.  It depends on the mood, the context, it's not something that can be explained.  Just trust me on this.

For the most part, these past couple months, my posts have not been pure writing from me, but this one is.  So, if you don't like it, getthahellouttahere...got it?

I'm happy though.  I organize I brain, I control my emotions, I control myself.  You may say, but that's not really happiness, or that's not letting yourself live.^2  I say, and yet those whole rule themselves with reckless abandon end in a downward spiral of self-pity that longs for attention of the needy-pleasing masses.  I'd rather be me, than you.  No offense, but I like me more than you, probably. ^3 Unless you're like Johnny Depp, or....Cristian Ronaldo...or David Beckham....yup..that's about it.  Maybe Robert Pattinson, but I wouldn't have done Twilight, and then he wouldn't be "Robert Pattinson", which would defeat the purpose of me being him.^4  I feel like this is logos, a circle, never ending.  Blah, what?  You don't follow?  Yeah, that happens.^5

This is my life.  That is my life ^ .  I think, I tangent(+verb) - what the hell is the verb form of tangent...tangential is adjectival....^6 whatever.

There, again, perfect example of my life.  Still....you don't follow?  Hell, you just don't know me.  In person I curse a lot more too.  I filter it a bit for my writing, for you.^7

I don't want to write about what I really want to write about right now.  (So many write/right there.....I almost confused myself.^8)  This post is all tangents.  Good.  Are you nonplussed yet? ^9 Now you are you say, you mean you're confused?  You're nonplussed.^10  Yes that is essentially the same thing.  ^11Oh, you didn't know that?  Well, you learn something new every day, don't you?  Congrats, you're less of an imbecile now than you were 5 minutes ago.^12

Was I a tad mean there?  Sorry, I say it like it is with a dash of asshole.

Well, screw off, I'm out.

Peace & Love
Go make friends and read some books, that's the best thing you can do for this world.  (Post to come later about that topic - tangent)^13

P.S. There are 13 tangents in this post...some may argue on which are tangents and which are not, but they can fuck off, because I write this post and I decide.  So, deal with it.

Getting What You Wanted

Once I had this amazing girlfriend that I still have, I no longer had a real strong desire to go out.  I wanted, for the most part, to leave the old partying, getting trashed, self behind.  However, it wasn't all that easy to turn down my friends on a regular basis.

However, a few months later, that has successfully become the case.  I no longer receive regular calls to go out from my friends, or even texts.  So, I guess, they got the message.

It kind of sucks.

It's not that I didn't want to go out, or don't want to go out.  It's that I know that I need to be a better student.

It just sucks that being a better student has to result in your friends forgetting.

I guess that's how life weeds out your social circle though.  It keeps the people you interact with regularly and gets rid of the rest.  For me, the regular circle revolves around my girlfriend, climbing, and those I interact with for CEED (Jani & Misch), and then Dan and Blake.

I'm not exactly disappointed, sad...no, none of those things.  Just..shucks.

Anyways, back to doing some homework.

Peace and Love,
Jared

P.S. Be careful what you wish for, it just might come true.

To Start Writing - How & Why

I'm staring at this blank box, used for writing.  It stares back at me like the endless pages of blankness that have existed in every writer's past.

I want to write.  I need to write.  I can't write.  I am writing.  Sustenance?  Is it in this though?

I don't know.

Writer's block is a joke, to me. 

Back to School, Back to School...

Yes, ahhh.... Back to school.

Sorry for the long absence people.  Life was stupid, hectic, crazy, and boring.

I've only been here three days and the nights are running together already.  Today, while walking to downtown, I had to ask the girl I'd just met what day it was.  She smiled and asked me what I'd been up to.  "Yeah, about that."

I've thoroughly enjoyed myself this week.  So many more girl here, it's glorious.  I'm not quite sure that I want a girlfriend.  In fact, I'm pretty sure.  No reason to not tempt fate though, right?

Oh, how I need to start studying my Arabic again.....and fill out my application to Scotland.  Blah... I can't get my mind right for that.  I need to get a 4.0 this year.  

Ahh, the wishes, wants and desires of a new beginning.

The Disappointment of Summer

I had all these dreams of all the reading and writing I would do during summer.  All the studying of Arabic that would occur.  I dreamed of the knowledge I would gain.

Summer is halfway through and I have read...meh 2 1/2 books - and done little to no studying of Arabic.

Instead, I have been lazy, sleeping late every day.  I have partied with friends.  Worked out hard and made huge gains in the gym.  I have played soccer at a level I thought not possible anymore to me (due to my ankles).

I had to remind myself of a lesson that I relearn throughout the year.  To enjoy the unexpected.  When I travel I always have this idea of what my trip will be like.  (England: soccer fields everywhere, people wearing jerseys everywhere - reality - a big city ...like any other)  The trip is never what I expect, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable. 

So, this summer, while not what I had planned, was just as enjoyable.  I learned a lot about myself, my friends and life in general.

Folks, remember to enjoy the unexpected.  Don't let the monotony of our lives in America rule your life.  Toss yourself a bone and take a random opportunity now and again, go on an adventure and enjoy what life has to offer.

Peace,
Jared