The Struggle for Growth & Honesty: Writing an Article About My Feelings

I'm working on an article I want to submit to Matador.  It's for the series "Love in the Time of Matador"  (other articles published in this series) - Link(Submissions Page & Details) - from the Matador Life section.

The article is difficult for me to write.  It is imperative that I be honest, completely honest in the article.  That is difficult when it is about a topic so close to me, i.e. my feelings pertaining to relationships, girls & love.

One thing I know that may occur when some people read this is the shift of their image of me from an ideal to reality.  What do I mean? 

Musings on a Rainy Day

I'm an old soul.  I've been told so many times.  Strange.  If people prophesy this for me, does it make it true?

Which is more true, the person people see, or the person I see?
I think they are equal.  You can't escape either one.
Unless you go "Walden" on everybody.

That's not really feasible, in any sense of the word.

I thought a lot of things with my pops was finished, put in the past, but I guess not.  Hmm.  I'm going to have to think on that.

I don't slight him at all.  I am not angered by him anymore.  Frustrated? Yes.  Disappointed? Sometimes.  Live and learn, my heart gets harder, but there is still something soft somewhere in there.

I wrote in my notebook today: 90% of the time I do what I want to do.  I find that leads to satisfaction.  The frustrating thing is when I don't know what I want -> Then I don't know what to do.

I'm out. Peace & Love.