I sit in this stasis, desiring to complete the time of studying set forth before me, but reluctant to begin. My head is in a constant struggle of reminding itself to begin working, while simultaneously rationalizing the efforts put forth to prevent any work being completed.
Time is of the essence, and I wish for so many things to happen, but they are reliant on memorization of words necessary for the quiz that will take place in nearly 15 hours. Why- Why oh why do I continue this battle?
Even this, now, here, is but a tool to keep myself occupied and prevent me from beginning. As I write, though, I come to realize the inevitability of my struggle. That I must begin, regardless of everything else happening, or going to happen. I must study.
So, I come to a stalemate, something of a checkmate, but can you truly admit defeat to your own self? Do you not still win? That is another matter for other times, one to be considered in the future, if never.