A Random Thought On Death

Today, I woke around 11:30 (Pretty good for me) and drank my protein and sat at my computer to catch up on Facebook, soccer news, my email, etc.  I sat down and looked at my ITunes, "What music to play?"  I sat staring at it and quickly become annoyed.  I prefer my music to be clean and organized.  I had been downloading a lot of new music lately and not been keeping it orderly.  So, I set out to find a program to help me out with this.  I decided to give Tune Up's free trial a go.  I love it.  Granted, you only get 100 songs free and 50 Album covers.  However, there is a trick.  Use all of your songs but a few.  Then, go through your music and search the song and just change the information by hand, rather than allowing Tune Up to do it for you.  Then you can organize all of your music, all with the trial version of Tune Up.  That being sad, when you're idly repeating a process a  hundred times, you get used to it and your mind begins to drift.  My mind drifts all the time, but especially in these situations.

I was thinking of Scotland.  I need to get my plans going.  I need to get the application started.  I need to send out the letters for the recommendations.  I need to look at the essays.  I need to look at the cost.  I need to figure this out.

My mind drifted more.  What am I going to do while I'm over there?  Hmm.  Go somewhere dangerous. :D That would be fun.  What if something happened to me?  I carried on with this line of thought for a while.

I suddenly got a sense of profound sadness.  I thought about all the people I have been rude to, the people I dislike.  The people I care about and have neglected, been rude to, etc.  I wish there was a way to apologize to all of those people.  I wish there was a way to tell all the people who have hurt me that I forgive them.  I don't hold grudges, really.  I don't think I do.  
 
If someone insults me, offends me, etc.  I have given them that ability to do so.  It is my fault that that happens.  However, I can forgive and forget.  Although, my opinion of you is changed now.  I think of it like this.  You get a new dog.  He's a big dog.  He's nice, likes to play.  He can be pretty rowdy.  You're playing with him, pulling his toy, pushing his head.  Playing with him.  Then, suddenly, it goes from playing to something more serious.  The dog snaps at your hand, hard.  You pull away in fear, shock, surprise?  You look down to your injured hand being cradled by your other against your body, blood has been drawn.  The dog is still standing there, waiting for you to act, confused.  He's just hurt you.  Next time you go to play, you're more than likely going to keep a better eye on things, maybe not get as rowdy, or maybe not play like that at all anymore.  You don't hold any ill will against your dog, but you know better now. That's how I am.

So, let this be my word to them.  I'm sorry. I forgive you.

Life is too short to hold grudges.  Life is amazing, get out and see it.

I will always remember St. Augustine's quote, "The world is a book, and those who don't travel only read one page."

Peace and Love,
Jared