I feel like it has been forever since I last actually sat down and just wrote. It's been a while since I posted on here. The other night, while watching a movie, I was inspired to write a little short story. It's been brewing in my head since the other day. Today, after beginning an article in an issue of Times magazine from earlier this year on Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, and stealing the magazine after my appointment so that I could finish the article and thus the whole magazine, I was in a writing mood. That article was magnificent. It captured Gates, his person and it was just damn good nonfiction. It made me want to write. So, I went to into my makeshift room in the back of my childhood home, the room I'm occupying now returned from college. It has just a box spring and a mattress slung in the corner, low to the floor, no sheets on top, a mess of pillows and one blanket. It's surrounded by my clothes, piled on a table, and an assortment of furniture derived from our house and the past 15 years, as well as items of mine from my dorm room.
As I wrote I seemed to get that feeling when you stand up too quick after sitting or lying for too long.
I was feeling like I was viewing myself from above, whilst writing still. I was literally caught in this story.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Wolf in Sheeps Clothing
Beware.
After tonight, I realized something: it does not matter who you are, you are capable of anything.
You are capable. Remember that and you learn an important lesson. Honesty does not come in every form, no matter how honest you think you are being, you could have been more so. What's done is done, and I must live with it, but that does not mean...Shit. What's done is done, let's leave it at that.
One day, I'll look back and smile or frown, time will tell, but then I'll be able to learn a lesson, a deeper one than whatever I learn now.
Forgive me, you have no reason to, and you know damn well you don't and you would say that too. You don't have to. It is what it is. I can accept that.
If only I had warned you more, I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing.
After tonight, I realized something: it does not matter who you are, you are capable of anything.
You are capable. Remember that and you learn an important lesson. Honesty does not come in every form, no matter how honest you think you are being, you could have been more so. What's done is done, and I must live with it, but that does not mean...Shit. What's done is done, let's leave it at that.
One day, I'll look back and smile or frown, time will tell, but then I'll be able to learn a lesson, a deeper one than whatever I learn now.
Forgive me, you have no reason to, and you know damn well you don't and you would say that too. You don't have to. It is what it is. I can accept that.
If only I had warned you more, I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing.
The Things Alcohol Make Me Do
Ugggh.....
That's what I think right now. I feel great. I woke up at 7:59 AM with the sun shining on my face. I looked up from my bed, my eyes almost creaking open as I looked up at the clear blue sky. There was a lonely cloud just inside my view from the window. I kept my head up off the pillow to allow me to watch it, my neck complaining the whole time. I watched it slowly creep out of my view until it finally had gone. I forced my head back down deep into the pillow, digging in, with a grunt of frustration. Hoping that forcing my head back into the pillow would force my mind back into the dream that was slowly skipping from my memory. What would be my result?
That's what I think right now. I feel great. I woke up at 7:59 AM with the sun shining on my face. I looked up from my bed, my eyes almost creaking open as I looked up at the clear blue sky. There was a lonely cloud just inside my view from the window. I kept my head up off the pillow to allow me to watch it, my neck complaining the whole time. I watched it slowly creep out of my view until it finally had gone. I forced my head back down deep into the pillow, digging in, with a grunt of frustration. Hoping that forcing my head back into the pillow would force my mind back into the dream that was slowly skipping from my memory. What would be my result?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
One Thing I Do to Procrastinate
I sit in this stasis, desiring to complete the time of studying set forth before me, but reluctant to begin. My head is in a constant struggle of reminding itself to begin working, while simultaneously rationalizing the efforts put forth to prevent any work being completed.
Time is of the essence, and I wish for so many things to happen, but they are reliant on memorization of words necessary for the quiz that will take place in nearly 15 hours. Why- Why oh why do I continue this battle?
Even this, now, here, is but a tool to keep myself occupied and prevent me from beginning. As I write, though, I come to realize the inevitability of my struggle. That I must begin, regardless of everything else happening, or going to happen. I must study.
So, I come to a stalemate, something of a checkmate, but can you truly admit defeat to your own self? Do you not still win? That is another matter for other times, one to be considered in the future, if never.
Time is of the essence, and I wish for so many things to happen, but they are reliant on memorization of words necessary for the quiz that will take place in nearly 15 hours. Why- Why oh why do I continue this battle?
Even this, now, here, is but a tool to keep myself occupied and prevent me from beginning. As I write, though, I come to realize the inevitability of my struggle. That I must begin, regardless of everything else happening, or going to happen. I must study.
So, I come to a stalemate, something of a checkmate, but can you truly admit defeat to your own self? Do you not still win? That is another matter for other times, one to be considered in the future, if never.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thinking of John Denver
I can remember in 5th grade when I wrote a letter to John Denver's mom after he died. I listened to him and loved him instantly. I remember I made my parents buy me his music. I rediscover him everyonce in a while. Hopefully, this time I don't forget him. He's so damn good.
If you've forgotten, or never knew. Check this out:
Friday, April 16, 2010
Life is a Bunch of Mini-Adventures
Tonight was a mini-adventure. All those mini-adventures throughout your life add up to make your life an adventure, but if you never take that risk to deviate from your path, you'll live a life of.........A life without adventures. ....I sure as hell don't want that.
Hy-Vee has an organic section where you can make your own trail mix. While we stood there in the aisle with our large, obnoxious blue race car cart I continually took hand fulls of chocolate covered raisins. Handful by handful, I ate more than my fair share. Meanwhile, we went through every scent in the essential oils rack, my favorites were Lemon and Sweet Orange. They had that sweet, sugary smell with citrus that just invigorates you and makes you smile. It's the slow creeping, undeniable smile that you get when something is just plain good. I kept going back for more handfuls though. Even while we were in the other section over, I would go back and grab more.
Hy-Vee has an organic section where you can make your own trail mix. While we stood there in the aisle with our large, obnoxious blue race car cart I continually took hand fulls of chocolate covered raisins. Handful by handful, I ate more than my fair share. Meanwhile, we went through every scent in the essential oils rack, my favorites were Lemon and Sweet Orange. They had that sweet, sugary smell with citrus that just invigorates you and makes you smile. It's the slow creeping, undeniable smile that you get when something is just plain good. I kept going back for more handfuls though. Even while we were in the other section over, I would go back and grab more.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
1 Thing I Downloaded Today - Rocki Evans
Here is an up and coming R&B singer. His name is Rocki Evans, and his new release is ridiculously good. I'm refraining from using slang I normally wouldn't. So, I won't, and instead I will tell you some of the words or phrases others commented on his album: dope, sick, good shit, fooo real, etc.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Today is the Day
Al-yuum huwa al-yuum.
Today is the beginning of a new phase. Today I renewed my dedication to my fitness, to my health, to m diet. Today I began a new regimen, one to help a friend achieve a goal, one to give me something to work for.
I'm excited at the possibilities.
I wrote this in my notebook the other day.
4-6-10
Defintion of Slavery-regardless of time & place
Servitude to person or entity due to a form of oppression, where the consequences of disregarding the servitude are extreme in a tangible sense &/or inadequate return for service [repeated and demanded].
-> Are you a slave to something? Credit card, mortgage, job, etc.?
----
Just some thoughts.
Today is the beginning of a new phase. Today I renewed my dedication to my fitness, to my health, to m diet. Today I began a new regimen, one to help a friend achieve a goal, one to give me something to work for.
I'm excited at the possibilities.
I wrote this in my notebook the other day.
4-6-10
Defintion of Slavery-regardless of time & place
Servitude to person or entity due to a form of oppression, where the consequences of disregarding the servitude are extreme in a tangible sense &/or inadequate return for service [repeated and demanded].
-> Are you a slave to something? Credit card, mortgage, job, etc.?
----
Just some thoughts.
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